She was a great dog. The kids loved her to pieces along with my wife and I.
She did have a good life. A warm bed, plenty of toys and food, people that loved her. Regular veterinarian visits etc.
I just can't shake this feeling that I let her down somehow. This was the first time I personally have ever had to take a pet in to be put to sleep. Is it normal to feel guilt and remorse?
Answer
Anonymous:
Yes, it's very normal. No matter how long you've had a pet, to see that pet go is like losing a part of the family.
My dog was with my family for 8 years and she was 5 when I rescued her and even though I didn't raise her from the time she was a puppy I grew up with her and she grew old with us. Losing her to cancer was awful and the vet was very honest to suggest putting her to sleep to end her misery.
It was a tough choice but it was the most humane thing we could do for her. Its very normal to feel sad, guilty or even angry at yourself. You did what you could and that's all that matters. You did your BEST and I'm sure Sammie was very happy and thankful to have you and your family as her humans.
Greyhound:
Yes
... what you are feeling is very normal. It is very distressing to have to put a dog to sleep. The emotions afterwards are strong, and the loss .... For those who love a dog, it feels like someone has tore your heart out your chest and stomped on it!
And the house you go home to feels too empty - the silence is deafening.
You need to know that you did everything you could for your dog, as well as gave her the greatest gift of all, release from the pain and suffering Sammie was going through.
I hope these feelings of guilt and remorse will soon be replaced with warm and happy memories of your dog.
Jack:
Yes, it is especially when it's a younger dog that had an unexpected
and untreatable health issue. The rational and logical part of you
knows you did the right thing for your dog. But that emotional part of
you wonders if you did enough, and thinks you made the wrong decision.
It's hard not to second guess, even when you know that there was nothing
you could do, and freeing your dog from pain was your final act of
love.
In time, it gets less raw, and you'll be able to think back on
the memories and funny stories and laugh, not cry. And in time, you'll
be able to open up your heart to another dog. Not to replace him but
to fill the hole in your heart that a loved pet leaves. Our pets love
us unconditionally and your dog would not want you to be so sad. So
sorry for the loss of your dog.
Charles:
Yes, it is especially when it's a younger dog that had an unexpected
health issue. Feeling is very normal. It is very distressing to have to
put a dog to sleep.The dog was a part of your family,and all family
members loved the dog, it was hard for you to say goodbye .
Verulam:
You have absolutely nothing to feel either guilt or remorse about We all, under such circumstances have feelings about 'did I get it right' (the timing) but I seriously doubt your vet would have agreed, had there been anything more he had to offer.
We lost one to this, although he was in his 13th year and for the 6 months following my feeling a lump and the diagnosis, at which point we all made the decision not to go for any treatment, he had good quality life until at the end he collapsed, and we have to give him peace.
It's harder when the dog is younger, but frankly I don't think any owner could do more than you say you did for your dog. Cancer is as hard to deal with in our pets, as it is in our humans, but at least we don't have to allow 'lingering'. We can help them.
You'll hurt but after the shock passes, you'll remember the good times, and know your dog had all the care you could offer.
So sorry.
Lawrence:
I think it is entirely normal and proper to grieve the loss of a pet. Many people consider their pets as they would their own children. Indeed, sometimes pets are called "exempt children." They enjoy all of the privileges that a human child does but have none of the responsibilities. So don't beat yourself up by feeling guilty for grieving over the loss of your dog. She's family.
Grumpier:
Yes of course! You'd feel pretty desperate if you'd had to do this to one of the kids, and Sammie was effectively another of your children. But instead of tearing yourself apart with guilt, whenever it kicks in, look at it from Sammie's perspective.
You did all the things for her you mentioned whilst she was with you, and kept her safe, happy, loved and comfortable. Then you made the final sacrifice and saved her from any more pain and suffering. She's out there in the universe somewhere saying 'thanks, my beloved family'.
Of course the guilt won't entirely go away, maybe never, but be assured that you did all that you could for her.
